The Reason I Won't Be Coming
by WickedGame
Summary: AU. 1x2, slight 3x4. True love ended with one miscommunication. After six months without the love of your life, how can you cross that burnt bridge and take it all back? 2nd runner up in MediaMiner's Maximum Challenge special category Auld Lang Syne.
1. Prologue

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters. This is a plot bunny that hopped into my head all of a sudden. I own the plot, so please do not steal it. This is an AU fic, and some characters may seem OOC, but I will try hard to keep them as much in character as possible. Thanks!_

_**Prologue**_

Two separate men stared at identical folded pieces of parchment with fragrant vellum caught in the middle. The envelopes had been a deep red, the color of a poinsettia, with a gold sticker sealing the flap. The parchment was a golden color, with silver lettering, and the scented vellum not only smelt of pine, but was the color a Christmas tree. A silver angel was on the front of the invitation, glinting shiny and bright back at them. The two men, caught in different neighborhoods in the bustling metropolis of San Francisco, both sighed as they read the message.

_Quatre Raberba-Winner_

_and_

_Trowa Barton_

_Request the honor of your presence_

_On_

_December Twenty-Fourth_

_At_

_Eight o'clock PM_

_For_

_A Christmas gathering_

_Location: 456 Telegraph Hill_

_San Francisco, CA_

_Please RSVP (regrets only) to (415) 430-2134 _

_Or to_

_QRWinner at mac dot com_

Both men stared at the invitation with some trepidation. Would he be there? Was this some kind of unique torture? It had been at least six months since they had seen each other. Not since the night that a grave miscommunication had led to a breakup. Not since the night that two people who were madly in love lost everything they had between them.

Yes, both men sat in separate townhouses in the city by the bay, staring at golden parchment, and wondering, not for the first time, if this was a sign. Forgive and forget? Live and let live? Run into his arms and wish the past away? Kiss him senseless and love him with all your might? Admit that you never stopped loving him after all? Admit you were wrong?

Both men place the invitation on a desk next to a computer and stare at it, contemplating.

And both men start to compose a proper response…. and suitable reasons for why they would not be coming. Yet they both know the real reason lies in a six month misunderstanding, and in wounds that have yet to heal.


	2. Regrets

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing nor its' characters. Blondie's Pizza is an actual pizza chain with an outlet on Powell Street in SF, and another on Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley. Their name belongs to them. "mac dot com" is the actual email domain for dot mac members and that particular domain belongs to Apple Computers, Inc. The Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum is real and belongs to them. The Blue and Yellow Fleet name belongs to them and not me. Starbucks belongs to that company. There is a mini donut place on Pier 39 and it is yummy. And, of course, Alcatraz is owned by the State of California. Wow, lots of disclaimers there. _

_**Chapter One – Regrets**_

"Ten dollars says Duo replies first," Quatre smiled at his partner wryly as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"That is a bet I am not willing to take," Trowa muttered while stirring a spoonful of sugar into his own mug.

"We _have _to get them both here," Quatre said vehemently. Trowa smiled slightly, amused by the tone of voice.

"Well, we need to nullify the reasons they give us for not coming," Trowa contemplated, "The easiest thing to do would be just to tell them the other is not coming"

"Lie?" Quatre asked, thinking on the concept.

"Duo is the one who never lies, remember?" Trowa reminded his lover.

"But that seems so duplicitous," Quatre worried, chewing his lower lip.

"Stop that," Trowa chided. Quatre shrugged nonchalantly and sipped his coffee. They sat in silence for a while, and then the computer beeped a silent plea.

"You've got mail," Trowa joked. Quatre went to the computer and clicked on the new message.

_Subject: Regrets_

_Hey, Quatre. I'm sorry, but I do not think I will be able to come to your party. I can't lie, I really would like to, but I know you have invited Heero and I just cannot stand seeing him right now. I hope you understand. Say hi to Trowa for me._

_Duo_

"Told you, Duo would be first," Quatre told Trowa, who was currently buttering a piece of toast.

"Excuse?" Trowa was curious, even though he knew the answer.

"He doesn't lie. He doesn't want to see Heero," Quatre explained, and then the computer bleeped again.

_Subject: RSVP for Xmas party_

_I can't come. I'm sorry. Maybe some other time. Say hi to Trowa._

_H_

"Short and succinct," Quatre commented.

"No excuse?" Trowa asked as he chewed thoughtfully.

"Nope. Looks like we have to lie to Duo and guilt Heero into it," Quatre sighed.

_Subject: He's not coming_

_You do not have to worry, he is not coming. Said he had another commitment. Please come? We have not seen you in weeks! Say you'll come._

_Quatre_

"One lie down, one guilt to go," Quatre joked.

_Subject: Come on!_

_Please please please come? I know that you are busy and everything, but we have not seen you in weeks, and we really want to spend at least part of the holidays with you. Besides, people keep sending regrets left and right, even Duo. Pretty soon no one will be coming. I hope you change your mind. Trowa says hi._

_Quatre_

"We will see what they say," Quatre sighed.

&&&

"Well, that changes things," Duo Maxwell said to himself as he read Quatre's response. If Heero was not going to be there then he was all for spending some time with Quatre and Trowa. Heero was the only thing keeping him away. Quatre was right, it had been a while since he had seen them.

He quickly typed a response that let to two know that he would be attending after all, and then he sat back.

He knew now that it had all been a misunderstanding, but the image of Relena kissing Heero at the club still made him sick. A year they had been together, and then they had lost it all with one kiss.

_There he was, in the middle of the dance floor, kissing her. Relena. Blond, leggy, gorgeous, and all girl. She had been flirting shamelessly with him for weeks, and Duo did not think that Heero even had leanings that way. But there he was, her lips mashed to his._

_He was out the door before he could even think, the image burned in his mind. He did not cry, he just clenched his fists at his sides. It had happened again, and this time with his best friend. Guys had screwed him over before, cheating and lying. He never lied. He ran and hid, but he never lied. Why does this keep happening to him? Why did he trust these men when they kept fucking him over?_

_"Duo!" Heero's voice called out from behind him desperately. Duo kept walking, even when he heard the voice. He did not want to stop. He did not want to talk. He just wanted to be as far away from here as possible right now._

_"Duo!" Heero ran fast. And caught up to him beneath the sign for Blondie's Pizza._

_"What the fuck do you want?" Duo yelled as he turned around._

_"It is not what you think, she-"_

_"You kissed her! That girl has been throwing herself at you for weeks, and you finally gave in! What? Decided being gay was not good enough for you? Decided you wanted to check out the grass on the other side? Well, I hope the grass is as green as you think it is, because I am out of here!" Duo whipped his braid around as he stormed away. He heard Heero following him._

_"Don't you even want to hear my side of the story?"_

_"No, not really. Actions speak louder than words Heero," Duo said as he walked away._

Sure, he found out through Quatre that Relena had come up to Heero and kissed him spontaneously. Sure, Heero had not been kissing her back, he was just stuck there, mostly in shock. But by the time Duo found out, it was like there was the broken bridge that he could not repair. And then, the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, and he could not even think to repair that bridge. He loved Heero. That day had been a bad day, and they had been having a small fight off and on for a few weeks. It all just built up without a vent, and then gave way to passionate anger when he saw the love of his life kissing Relena. She was just some club girl, a wealthy socialite who lived in Sausalito. Her dad had been some kind of diplomat or something, Duo could never remember. But she had been chasing Heero for ages, even when he had made it clear to her that he was gay.

Heero had been his best friend since high school. They had met when they were forced to share a locker in the overcrowded California school. Typical. They shared a locker, and then shared a friendship. They both dated girls off and on, though never got serious about any of them. They both applied to the same colleges and decided on the same one, and then they shared a dorm while in college.

It was while they were in college that they both found out that there was a reason why they never got serious with any girls. They were both gay. What a coincidence.

Heero graduated with a bachelor's degree in Computer Sciences with a minor in Engineering. He graduated Summa Cum Laude, and was inundated with offers to work for some of the best software and hardware developers in San Francisco, and even beyond. He loved the city though, and decided to go to work for a software developer inside the Transamerica Building.

Duo barely graduated at all. His degree was in Mechanics, with a minor in Religious Studies. Religion interested him, ever since he had been raised in an orphanage. And he was really good with machines. He went to work for a company that built robotics. It was not the best paying job, but it was fun, and a worthwhile pursuit.

They had met Quatre and Trowa while in college. They both worked at the coffee shop inside the student union. Long study sessions led to conversations, which led to hanging out, which led to a solid friendship. One day Duo dared the implacable Trowa to kiss Quatre. Trowa never was one to back down, and he kissed Quatre on the mouth in front of everyone in the student union. Hoots and catcalls sounded all around. But when they stopped kissing it was evident that it was not the last kiss they would share. Six months later they moved in together. They never knew that Quatre was rich as sin due to his father's inheritance though, and were surprised when the two moved into a townhouse on posh Telegraph Hill.

Heero and Duo lived together as roommates in a small apartment near Union Square. There was a Chinese buffet downstairs, and a Starbucks next door. It was okay, though not the most attractive place ever. Quatre and Trowa insisted that they could live with them, but neither one of them wanted to get in the way of the young lovers. So, they politely refused.

Duo had never looked at Heero as anything but a friend until one summer day.

_They both had the day off, and they decided to go see what the tourists were doing down at the piers. They ate the mini donuts on pier 39, and watched the sea lions on the floating docks. They went inside the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum and laughed at the cheesiness of it. Then they bought tickets to go out to Alcatraz on the Blue and Yellow Fleet. _

_It was windy that day, even more than usual here on the bay. They climbed to the top deck of the ship, and they stood next to the railing. The boat swayed back and forth as it cruised the bay, heading towards the rock. Seagulls flew above them, and a stray dolphin leapt above the water every now and again._

_They were mostly silent, and Duo was happy with that, until Heero suddenly let out a happy laugh that Duo had never heard before. Heero turned to him and smiled a rare smile that all of a sudden stopped Duo's heart. In that moment in time, Duo memorized the way the wind ruffled Heero's already ruffled brown hair, how the wind made his deep blue eyes sparkle, how the spray had dusted his cheeks with small dots of mist, and how his lips were red from cold. Duo spent that endless moment wondering when his best friend had become such a beautiful creature._

_"We should do this more often," Heero said suddenly. It was an unguarded moment, a truthful moment, and Duo all of a sudden wanted nothing more than to kiss that red mouth and wrap his arms around his new discovery. And so he did._

_Duo moved in closer, and he saw Heero's breath hitch. He only hesitated a second before going all in. He pressed his lips to Heero's for only a small second. Then he moved away to check Heero's reaction. Heero gave him a small smile, just a lift on one corner of his mouth. Duo took that as permission to continue, and he kissed Heero again. This time it was longer, slower, and he wrapped his arms around Heero's neck. Their lips melded together for hours, it seemed, before they finally broke apart, slightly breathless._

_"Duo?" Heero asked, uncertain._

_"What am I doing?" Duo asked him._

_"You kissed me," Heero sounded like it was a wonder._

_"I had to. Right then, you just looked so beautiful, so perfect," Duo stopped talking, unable to explain further._

_"Do it again," Heero told him._

_"What?" Duo was a little amazed._

_"Kiss me again," Heero said simply, as if it were a simple request!_

_Duo was more nervous this time, as he moved closer to Heero. He licked his lips when his mouth felt suddenly dry. He put his hands on Heero's slim shoulders and moved his face closer. And then his mouth settled onto Heero's. Heero's lips were soft, and moist but not sloppy. He kissed Heero in earnest, moving so that their bodies were molded together. It was like a puzzle, he just fit in that spot. His hands moved upwards until they were tangled in Heero's tousled hair. And then, that's when Heero's small pink tongue darted out to taste Duo's lips. Duo almost groaned, and he opened his mouth. What was going on? Heero was his best friend! They had known each other since acne still graced their faces and pizza seemed like the world's most perfect food! Why did he feel like this was where he belonged, like he could kiss Heero forever and never care? As Heero's tongue caressed his own, Duo felt like he was drowning, and all of a sudden drowning sounded like a good idea. The best idea ever in fact._

_They spent endless moments kissing each other on the top deck of that tourist boat, and then they finally broke apart. Duo rested his head on Heero's shoulder as Heero held him close._

_"What happened?" Duo asked._

_"I think we just realized something we never realized before," Heero stated enigmatically._

_"What?" Duo wanted to know what Heero thought._

_"Maybe the man for us was standing in front of us all this time, and we never realized it," Heero always got to the point._

For a year they were madly in love. For a year they slept together, ate together, and lived a life together. And then Duo threw it all away when he refused to even listen to what his best friend had to say.

"Stupid Duo," the braided man said as he stared out into nothing.

Quatre and Trowa had been overjoyed when Heero and Duo got together. There were double dates, clubbing nights, dinner in, so on and so forth. That was why it hurt so bad when it was over.

_Heero had moved out of the apartment while Duo was at work the day after the kiss with Relena, and it looked as if he had never been there. All the photos of them together were gone, and everything they had ever bought together was either gone or cleaned and put away. Heero was efficient, and he worked quickly. Duo had cried for hours when he came home, feeling empty and alone. He never cried, but seeing every bit of evidence of his life with Heero gone filled him with a sadness he had never known._

_Quatre finally got a hold of Duo after about two weeks of not answering his phone calls or emails. Duo answered the phone when it rang this time._

_"Hello?" _

_"Duo! Thank goodness you are okay!" Quatre greeted him._

_"I have not been feeling so well," Duo gave the limp excuse. Quatre scoffed, and Duo cursed his almost empathic abilities._

_"You didn't even listen to him," Quatre said quietly._

_"What's there to listen to? He kissed Relena. That whore," Duo spit out venomously._

_"No he didn't Duo," Quatre said softly._

_"I saw it with my own two eyes," Duo was adamant._

_"What you saw was Heero being kissed by Relena. He was not an active participant. She walked up to him and kissed him. She was quite drunk that night. He let her fall to the dance floor when he saw you storm way. Duo, he has been MIA ever since that night. He never even left any contact information with us. I think his heart broke," Quatre sounded almost wounded, and Duo suddenly felt like the biggest cad on the planet._

_"She kissed him?" Duo asked, not believing._

_"She kissed him," Quatre confirmed._

_"What have I done?" Duo asked, knowing he sounded very melodramatic but not even caring._

_"Find him. Apologize," Quatre suggested._

_"I think I am the last person in the world he would want to see," Duo sighed._

_"I think you are wrong," Quatre sounded upset. _

_"We will see," Duo and Quatre said their goodbyes, and then they hung up the phone. Duo never even tried to look for Heero. He was filled with guilt, and shame, and doubt. Every time he reached for the phone or opened a new message he hesitated and then stopped. And then time just went marching on without the issue ever being resolved._

But Duo had never stopped loving Heero. It was just that, after all this time, the bridge seemed too broken to ever repair.


	3. Resignation

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its' characters. Some heavy yaoi lime crossing slightly into lemon in this chapter. Coit Tower is a real place in SF. A picture of it can be found at http(colon)(slashslash)www(dot)pencoyd(dot)com(slash)clock(slash)images(slash)2003(slash)07(slash)06(slash)CoitTower(dot)jpg. It resides at the top of Telegraph Hill, at the end of Lombard Street. You can see almost all of SF from there. In the evenings it becomes a beacon in the fog. So pretty. Yeah, so, I am a romantic. Also, a more graphic version of this chapter will be available on mediaminer(dot)org and AFF(dot)net under the same name._

_**Chapter Two – Resignation**_

Heero Yuy stared at the plea on his computer screen. Quatre was clearly determined to get him to come to the party. And, truth be told, the only reason he was not going to go was because he was sure Duo would be there. But now that he was assured Duo was not going to be there, the idea of seeing Quatre and Trowa sounded rather good.

_Subject: Change of heart_

_I will come._

_Heero_

He stared at the screen for a moment and then hit send. He could almost hear Quatre's happy response, and the cheer in his voice as he told Trowa the good news. They were the only family he had. He wasn't raised in an orphanage like Duo, but the man who had raised him had died when Heero was just a teen. He survived well enough on his own, he thought.

Duo used to be family. Duo used to be his next of kin and the closest thing to a brother Heero had ever had. One day at Fisherman's Wharf and another night at a club had changed Heero's life. That day at Fisherman's Wharf he had gained a love, and that night at the club he had lost it all. Now Quatre and Trowa were all he had left, along with the occasional Wufei sighting.

_It occurred to Heero that they could be seen as two lovers on a date, instead of two friends spending the day together. Duo's cheeks always got so pink from the cold. Standing on the top deck of that ship, Heero not only wished that they could always be like this, but he also wished they could do this more often. He turned and told this to Duo, feeling better than he had in days._

_Duo had this look in his violet eyes, a look that had not been there two minutes ago. A spark, a gleam, a glint. Whatever it was, it was foreign to Heero. All of a sudden the world fell away, everything but Duo ceased to exist. Those violet eyes and pink cheeks moved closer, and closer, until Duo's soft lips settled on his in the briefest, yet sweetest kiss imaginable._

_When Duo backed away, looking shocked and not quite himself, Heero saw a blush spread across his face, even eclipsing the pink the cold had caused on his cheeks. Water droplets clung to his eyeslashes, his lips were parted slightly, and Heero knew that everything had changed. _

_"Kiss me again," Heero had instructed, wanting to get this just right. Duo did as he commanded, and kissed Heero again. It was long, soft, needy, desperate. It was erotic, sensual, and beautiful. It was not something he was prepared for, this onslaught of emotion and sensory immersion. It felt like falling, falling fast and falling hard. Kissing the person he loved more than any other on the top deck of that silly ship was a perfect moment, one of those rare moments when everything shifts and the whole world changes. A moment that defines everything that happens after it. That one kiss became a reason for living, a single flame burning in the dark of night. He found himself admitting something he must have always known: Duo was his everything. The beginning and the end._

"He still is your everything, Heero. Do not try to fool yourself by thinking any differently," he said to himself.

It was true, he had never stopped loving Duo, not even for a second. Duo was stubborn though. All he needed to do was apologize for not even listening to Heero's side of the story. Heero had known when Duo told him he did not want to hear his side of the story that it was over. Duo would not admit to anything, and that meant to end of it all. He spent that first night at Quatre and Trowa's, and then worked quickly the next day to erase every trace of him from Duo's life, just like he would have wanted. Duo liked clean break, I had seen it many times when he went out with someone and then they broke up. Duo liked no reminders. No looking back. Heero gave him that last gift, and then he disappeared. He took a leave of absence from working, citing family emergency, and then left San Francisco for a month.

Heero lived in a small, rented cabin in the middle of the woods above the Napa Valley, next to Lake Berryessa. He grew to love the cabin so much that he made the owner an offer he could not refuse. Heero still owned that cabin. He used it to store and hide every little thing that reminded him of Duo. Photos, small pieces of furniture, knick-knacks, and gadgets all have a place there. He did not want to ever get rid of the stuff, but he could not have it staring him in the eye every day in San Francisco.

He bought an apartment near the Embarcadero. It was a small studio apartment, but it worked. The floors were made of bamboo planks, and the walls were painted a soft cream. The furniture was black and cream, with deep green accents. The bathroom was slightly different, with hexagonal white tile on the floor, and the walls with black and white subway tiles. It all fit him, with his asian-american heritage and simplistic tastes. It was neat, orderly, and efficient. Quatre told him one day that Duo had left what had been their home and moved into a rented studio apartment over by Golden Gate Park.

Quatre had been incensed when Heero had finally contacted him after that month in the woods. 'Worried sick' is what he called it. Even though Heero had not asked, Quatre told Heero that he had told Duo the truth.

_"You told him?" Heero asked, his voice sounding cold._

_"I did," Quatre confirmed, trying to keep his voice calm and even._

_"And?" Heero asked, beginning to get frustrated._

_"He told us that he was probably the last person in the world you would want to talk to at that time," Quatre sighed._

_"He was right. I didn't want to talk to him. Not then anyways," Heero confessed, "He is stubborn, and needed time to cool down. But he has not even tried to get ahold of me since I have been back. I know you told him I was back"_

_"Maybe both of you are waiting for a sign, some kind of divine intervention?" Quatre sounded amused._

_"I did not do anything wrong, and I am not going to apologize. I love him, but I will wait until he is ready to say he is sorry," Heero said evenly._

It had been six months since the breakup, and Heero was still waiting. At some point during that six months he decided that even casually seeing Duo would hurt more than he was prepared to deal with, and it may bring to the surface all the words and emotions he had been trying so long to bury and ignore.

There was still no one else for Heero. There never would be. If he died a bachelor, well that was fine. He had only ever loved on person in his entire life, and he knew that he would never love anyone else.

For Heero, the love was immediate and somehow stronger than any other feeling in his whole life. He did not tell Duo though. He knew Duo had been screwed over by several men who told him they loved him and then they left. Heero was not about the screw Duo over like that, and so he had waited, biding his time.

_They had been dating for about two months when it occurred to Heero that he and Duo had never done anything more than heavy petting. Every time they were together Heero burned with arousal, which usually resulted in relieving himself in the shower or in his bed after Duo had gone to bed in his own room._

_One night they sat in front of the television, trying to polish off the two bottles of Cabernet that Heero had purchased to go with the steak they had for dinner that night. The room was illuminated by the television and the soft glow of the pillar candles that were burning on the coffee table in front of them. It was all soft, made even more hazy by the lovely red wine. It was almost dream-like._

_Duo rolled his head around, trying to work out some tension._

_"Come here Duo," Heero said softly. Duo moved over on the soft carpet, settling himself on the floor between Heero's flannel covered legs. Duo wore black silk pajama bottoms himself, and a white cotton t-shirt. Heero wore the same shirt, but his clung a little more snug to his muscular chest._

_"Take your shirt off," Heero told him. Duo did as he was told, lifting the cotton shirt over his head, letting his braid swing free over his toned back. Duo took another gulp of Cabernet from the wine glass and leaned back into his boyfriend._

_Heero began to slowly knead Duo's shoulder muscles. Duo let out an audible moan that made goosebumps appear on Heero's golden skin, even though he was no where near cold. Heero continued to work those muscles, and then moved down Duo's back, using fingers, thumbs, and palms to work loose every muscle and, hopefully, inhibition Duo had._

_When Heero moved his hands up to Duo's neck and used his thumbs to start working out the tension there, Heero was rewarded with a startled gasp of pleasure and a strangled moan._

_"God, Heero! I love you!" Duo rasped, and then he froze. Heero's hands froze, and then he lowered his dry mouth to Duo's pale and soft ear._

_"I love you too," Heero whispered. Duo leaned his head back into his boyfriend's crotch and smiled a hundred watt smile. Heero smirked and got up off the couch. Duo looked crestfallen until Heero held out his hand. Duo then looked confused._

_"Well, if you do not want to come to bed with me…" Heero let the sentence trail off._

_It took a second for it to soak in, but then Duo was blowing the candles out and turning off the television. His face was an enigma as he took Heero's hand and let him lead him into his bedroom, and his queen sized bed._

_Heero raised the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, tousling further his already tousled brown hair. Then he moved towards Duo, almost looking predatory. He reached out and hooked his thumbs under Duo's waistband. Then he lowered Duo's pajama bottoms over a taut ass and gorgeous legs. Duo stepped out of them, and his erection was stiff and waving in the air._

_"Can you lay down on my bed, on your stomach?" Heero asked. Duo nodded and collapsed on the bed. Heero stripped down to nothing as well. He reached into a cabinet and found the bottle of warming massage oil that had been a gag gift from Quatre not too long ago. He silently praised the gift._

_He studied Duo lying on his bed. He was so beautiful, with those long, clean lines. He was lying on his stomach, his legs slightly spread. His arms were also loosely splayed across the bed. His head was turned to the side, and those lovely eyes were closed._

_"Why are your eyes closed?" Heero asked, curious._

_"Just comfortable. This whole bed smells like you," Duo sighed, sounding content._

_"I should hope so," Heero muttered, and then he climbed onto the bed. Duo gasped as Heero straddled his ass. Heero squeezed some oil onto his hands, knowing his erection was laying on top of Duo's ass. He rubbed the oil onto his hands and renewed the massage, kneading the muscles once again._

_Duo's lips parted, and a slight pant escaped. Then more as Heero continued to work those muscles in the back and neck._

_Heero slowly undid the tie that held Duo's braid together. Slowly but surely, he began the erotic task of unraveling that heavy braid. Soon Duo's hair sat, wild and wavy, on top of his skin, and Heero's fingers were combing through it. Then Heero took himself off of Duo and moved down to the foot of the bed. He slowly took each of Duo's slender feet into his hands and rubbed them with the warn oil. Duo's feet proved to be very ticklish, resulting in much twitching and the occasional giggle. Heero moved up, kneading Duo's calves, and then his thighs. Duo's breathing became rather ragged when Heero moved up the thighs slowly, and then Heero placed his hands on Duo's ass. Two golden hands on pale skin. Heero began to knead that flesh, impressed by the muscle, and aware that his fingers brushed against Duo's pink sphincter every once and a while._

_"Heero!" Duo finally gasped, flipping himself over onto his back. His face was flushed, his lips swollen from biting them, and his hair wild and untamed. He reached up and pulled Heero's body towards his own. Heero lay down on top of Duo, bracing himself with his hands on either side of Duo's head. Heero could feel Duo's erection rub against his own, making his blood boil and his eyes cross. He wanted to taste Duo, taste his skin, his cock, his essence. He wanted to bury himself in Duo, feel Duo all around him. Duo pulled Heero's head down to him by his hair, and their lips met fiercely, passionately. Their tongues danced together. Minutes later, Heero let Duo's mouth go, and he trailed wet kisses down Duo's throat and down his chest. He latched onto one pink nipple, swirling it around with his tongue and nipping at it with his teeth. His other hand teased and flicked the other nipple, then he switched._

_"Oh god, Heero!" Duo gasped hoarsely as he wrapped his fingers in Heero's unruly brown locks._

_Heero trailed kisses down Duo's flat and toned stomach until his mouth hit that telltale patch of trim dark hair. He inhaled Duo's musky scent, and then his mouth sought out his treasure. He found Duo's member with his mouth, and for hours they gave each other their all. For hours they moaned and writhed and discovered every little thing about each other's bodies. Heero had never known he could feel this good, not until Duo. When they were exhausted, and the sheets were stained and wet, Heero wearily made his way to turn on the shower. They shared that precious intimacy, washing each other's hair and bodies. Then, they walked hand in hand into Duo's bedroom, and his double bed._

_They snuggled under the covers, languidly trailing fingers over clean and warm skin. Duo turned from his spooned position so he could look his lover in the eye._

_"When did you fall in love with me?" Duo asked earnestly._

_"When you kissed me on the boat," Heero confessed._

_"Ship," Duo corrected._

_"I realized in that moment that you had always been my everything, even if I did not know it," Heero said softly._

_"How come you never told me?" Duo asked._

_"I didn't want to be like the others, telling you they loved you and then they left you. I guess I wanted to wait, so you would know I was sincere," Heero explained. Duo smiled a sleepy smile._

_"I love you Heero," Duo whispered in the dark._

_"What about you?" Heero asked. But Duo's even breathing told him that his love was now asleep._

He never again asked Duo just when it was that he had fallen in love.

Heero opened a drawer on his desk that only had one resident. A small, velvet box from a local jeweler. He lifted the box out of the drawer and opened it for the first time in six months. In it sat a braided platinum band, sprinkled with dark amethyst chips. Duo's engagement ring. Heero had been carrying it the night of their one year anniversary. He had been planning to sneak Duo up to the fog shrouded Coit Tower after they were done clubbing for the night. Under the light of the tower, with the bay in front of them, he was going to ask Duo to be his husband. They could not legally get married, but they could be civilly united in their own minds, in front of their unusual little family. That was all they could have at that time, and Heero was okay with that. He just knew he wanted Duo to spend eternity with him. Sweet, smart, stubborn, beautiful Duo. The best friend he ever had, the brother he never had, and the lover he had always wanted.

Heero knew it would never happen, but he kept the ring just the same. In his will, the ring went to Duo, along with everything else he ever had. Duo was still his everything. And, after all, the stones in the ring match Duo's violet eyes. The eyes he saw awake or asleep. The eyes he loved. The eyes he thought he would never see again.


	4. Readiness

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing. I do not own Coca-Cola, Jack Daniels, or Toyota. I do not own the tiny snippet of Bon Jovi's "I'll be there for you"._

_**Chapter Three – Readiness**_

-Christmas Eve-

Duo stared at the mirror in front of him, perplexed. Why did something feel off? His long, shiny hair was clean and perfectly braided. His face was clean and clear. The small silver hoops he had bought were both in his elf-like ears. Heero was the first person to tell him he had elf-like ears, and Heero had been with him when he decided to pierce his ears.

"_Duo, are you sure about this?" Heero asked his boyfriend with a slight frown._

_"Why do you ask? I'm sure, but you seem kinda pissy about it," Duo met Heero's frown with one of his own. Heero looked at him gently, and then smiled._

_"I want you to be happy. If this makes you happy, then do it," Heero shrugged as Duo looked longingly at the piercing studio. Duo bit his lip, then shrugged._

_"Ah, why the hell not? It's not like I cannot take them out if I do not like them, right?" Duo grabbed Heero's hand as they stepped into the boutique._

Heero stood by while Duo pierced his ears. Heero had been annoyed by the metal appendages at first, but he grew to eventually accept them.

He wondered what Heero would think of the tattoos he had now, in conjunction with the pierced ears? The dark haired angel with blue eyes on his right shoulder blade, and the yin yang on his left bicep? He thought that maybe Heero would have liked those.

Duo blew his bangs out of his amethyst eyes and checked the rolled up cuffs of his red silk shirt. The shirt covered up a white cotton t-shirt made of simple cotton. His black slacks were relaxed, and covered the tops of his black leather boots, a recent splurge.

"You look fine, Duo," he told himself in the mirror. If he looked so fine, why did he not feel fine? Why was he filled with…what was that? Anticipation. That was the only way to describe it.

Duo twisted the small silver ring on his right ring finger. It was a simple band, but the inscription on the inside spoke volumes.

_"'You are always right there in front of me – Heero'," Duo read the inside of the band. He and Heero had been dating for about six months._

_"You were always right there in front of me, Duo. I never saw it, never realized it, but now I know. And you will always be right there in front of me," Heero said before kissing his boyfriend very thoroughly._

_"How did I get so lucky?" Duo asked himself._

"How indeed," Duo muttered.

A leather motorcycle jacket hung on his desk chair. Duo pulled it on, and then placed his black helmet on his head. He grabbed the two gifts he had gotten for Quatre and Trowa, and then grabbed a bottle of good Bordeaux from his wine rack before taking off on his black motorcycle.

&&&

"We need to get back to our guests, Trowa!" Quatre gasped the name as Trowa took his earlobe into his mouth, suckling it softly. Quatre unconsciously tilted his head for better access. Then he remembered their mission and he pushed Trowa away, even though he was hard and panting. Trowa only looked mildly disappointed as he placed Quatre's santa hat back on his blonde head.

"Is it all ready?" Quatre asked.

"Yep. Open bar, which was expensive but well worth it. You keep a drink in Duo's hand, I keep one in Heero's. The guest bed is made, turned down, and there are spare pajamas on said bed. Every single detail is taken care of down to the aspirin and water pitcher next to the bed for hangovers. They are going to kill us, you know that right?" Trowa finally asked.

"In another year when they get married, they will be singing our praises," Quatre grinned.

&&&

Heero combed his fingers through his still-damp hair and blinked his deep blue eyes.

"They will kill me if I cancel now. No, I said I would go, and I am not going to back out," he sighed to himself. Looking in the mirror, he fingered the small necklace Duo had given him when they had been dating for about eight months. It was made of hemp, with small black beads and a tiny yin yang pendant.

_"Two halves, making a whole. The dark and the light. See how each has the eye of the opposite? That is how they are joined, leaving a little of each other within the other. I leave you with a little bit of my darkness, and you leave me a little of your light. We are the two halves that make a whole. I do not know if I could live without you. I do know I do not want to find out if that is true or not. The dark cannot exist without the light, and the light cannot exist without the dark. I could not live without your light, Heero. Am I making any sense?" Duo fidgeted slightly._

_"Perfect sense," Heero whispered as he hugged Duo tight to him._

Heero only took the necklace off to shower or swim. It was always with him, a reminder of his dark Duo. It now stood out against the moss green cable knit sweater he wore over a green and khaki checkered oxford shirt. The tails of the shirt hung out from below the sweater as the collar poked over the top. His nice khakis were not baggy, but relaxed. And his shoes were brown leather. It was not his nicest outfit, because he wore suits to work, but it would do nicely for a Christmas party.

Why does this feel like going in front of a firing squad? Why does this feel like a setup?

"Leave before you lose it, Heero," he told himself. He grabbed his wallet, keys, two presents, a bottle of Chardonnay, and his brown leather bomber jacket before closing the door and locking it.

&&&

"Hey, how are you?"

"Can I get you a refill?"

"Oh, I'm great! How are you?"

"No, I haven't seen him…"

"Here's my phone number!"

Quatre walked through his crowded living room, catching scant snippets of conversation as he glanced repeatedly at the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Trowa saunter over to him, holding a glass of spiked eggnog. Quatre tilted his head up for a sweet kiss, and then sighed.

"Don't worry, they will be here soon. Heero is almost always on time, but tonight he may have tried to talk himself out of coming and tried to find a way out of it. And Duo is always late, at least by forty five minutes. Did we get him a damned watch for Christmas?" Trowa smiled as he asked the question.

"Shush," Quatre put his hand out as the doorbell rang, "That is Duo"

Trowa walked over and opened the door. In strode Duo, windblown from his ride.

"You know, a car equals non-messy hair," Quatre reminded Duo as he enfolded him in a hug.

"Not nearly as fun though," Duo smiled a false smile as he shrugged out of his jacket and gave it to Trowa. Quatre hated those smiles that never reached Duo's eyes.

"Oh, hey!" Duo opened the door again, retrieving two packages and a bottle of wine, "Here ya go!"

"Thanks, Duo. I figure we will open presents in the morning," Quatre told him.

"What? I'm staying the night?" Duo asked.

"Open bar will make you too drunk to drive. Plus, I am making breakfast," Quatre dangled that carrot in front of Duo. Quatre could cook a mean breakfast.

"Oh, twist my arm why dontcha?" Duo joked.

Quatre led Duo to the bar, "Still a Jack and Coke kind of guy?"

"Yeah," Duo answered. The bartender mixed the drink and served it on the bar.

Quatre and Trowa were depending on alcohol and familiarity to do most of the work for them. Convince the two to be at least civil, then proceed to get them so drunk they do not care where they crash. Their shock and distress from being around each other again would insure that they would want to drink too. Then, put them in the soft pajamas and tuck them into the same bed. Then, lock the door from the outside. They hoped that the cloudiness of the hangover and the familiarity (along with the obvious needing and wanting) would do the rest of the work for them. They were going to be mad, but both Quatre and Trowa thought the ends justified the means. They were just sick of the sadness and loneliness their two best friends were obviously feeling.

"Hey Duo? Want a shot?" Quatre asked. The bartender was under strict instructions to give Quatre and Trowa iced tea when they asked for a shot.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Duo wave his hand in the air loftily, "The things you will do for your friends!"

&&&

"I know you know we've had some good times, now they have their own hiding place. Well I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday," Heero sung softly with the radio, since he really wanted to keep his mind off the task at hand. He turned onto Lombard, and watched for the turn that would take him to the garage near Quatre and Trowa's. It was a guest garage, and you needed a code to get in. He leaned over and entered the memorized code. The gate opened, and Heero drove his Toyota in.

As always, it was a foggy night, making the alleys seem like they were full of supernatural shadows. The air was moist in a way only a bay town could be. Heero would have kept his hands in the pockets of his khakis, fingering both a small pocketknife and a can of pepper spray, but the presents and wine prevented that. You could never be too careful. As he walked, he checked around himself constantly. He still was wary, even though he had walked this street again and again.

As he approached the townhouse, he could see Trowa standing on a balcony. He waved at the taller man, and Trowa returned the wave before darting inside.

"Hmm," Heero made the universal noise of curiousity and walked up the short stairs to the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited for an answer.

&&&

"Hey Duo! Do you want to see the new bedroom furniture Trowa bought me?" Quatre asked as Trowa gave him the signal. It was showtime.

"I don't know if Trowa would approve!" Duo teased, feeling a little fuzzy. And warm, definitely warm. Damned whiskey.

"Come on!" Quatre practically hauled Duo out of the room as Trowa went for the door.

&&&

"Heero, glad you came," Trowa gave his friend a light hug. Heero handed the presents and wine to Trowa as he passed over the threshold. Trowa gave a thumb up in the air. As he walked with Heero into the kitchen, several men started to block the exits. Oh, the things you can do when you have money.

"Listen, Quatre wants you to stay the night. Not only is there an open bar, but he wants to open presents and cook breakfast in the morning," Trowa explained in a soft tone. No one was really all that good at refusing Quatre, not when it was such an innocent request.

"All right," Heero said calmly.

"Good, good. Would you like a drink?" Trowa asked, leading Heero to the bar.

"Bourbon, neat," he told the bartender. Trowa took this as a good side. Heero drank alcohol straight without any provocation. Trowa knew Heero would need a little alcohol in him to get through this.

"Want another?" he asked Heero as Heero tossed back the burning amber liquid.

"Sure," Heero took the new glass of bourbon in his hand, feeling warm and fuzzy.

&&&

"Hey, Quatre, your husband has good taste," Duo said with little surprise.

"Yes he does," Quatre smiled, "Hey Duo, come sit down"

Duo sat down in a brown leather chair in the small sitting area, "What's up, Kat?"

"Do you ever think you will get married? Settle down?" Quatre asked. Duo's eyes took on a slightly dangerous glint.

"No," Duo answered.

"Why not?" Quatre asked gently, even though he could feel the sadness rolling off of Duo.

"You know the answer Quatre. Why do we have to have this conversation now?" Duo started to look around the room.

"Would you have married Heero, had he asked?"

_God, yes _"No"

"You are lying to my and yourself," Quatre accused.

"What is this about?" Duo asked suspiciously.

"What if you had a second chance?" Quatre asked.

"There are no second chances when you screw up this bad, Kat!" Duo nearly yelled.

"Sit down," Quatre commanded. Duo sat, "My motives aren't pure in bringing you here"

"Why Kat, I never knew you felt that way!" Duo laughed. Quatre chuckled uneasily.

"No, seriously. How much have you had to drink, anyways?" Quatre asked.

"Too much to care how much," Duo snickered.

"Then I can tell you this. Heero is here, tonight. He just came in when we came upstairs," Quatre winced as Duo tensed up.

"You set me up," Duo gritted his teeth.

"Yes, I did. I am not proud of it," Quatre agreed.

"You lied to me. You told me he would not be here," Duo was still clenching his jaw.

"Right again," Quatre did not argue.

"Why would you do this?" Duo asked, almost desperately.

"The two of you are miserable. You love him, and he loves you, but both of you are acting like scared little children. You know that he did not kiss Relena, and he knows that you are aware of that fact. You are both stubborn, arrogant, and altogether too dense to see any of it. You cannot escape, so do not even try. I paid guards to stand at every exit. And yes, Heero is being given this same speech downstairs. We are a family. All we really have is the four of us. If you two will not kiss and make up, then you could at least act civil for our sakes. Can you do that? Act civil?" Quatre could be downright cold when he wanted to be, and now was one of those times.

Duo stared out the window and then blew up at his bangs, "What can I do to get out of this?"

"There is nothing you can say or do. It's now or never Duo," Quatre was firm.

"What do I say to him?" Duo asked in an almost whisper. Quatre moved over to the chair and put his arm around Duo's shoulders.

"You will know. Can I get you another drink?" Quatre asked.

"Hell yes"

&&&

"What?" Heero asked, calm as a storm. He was not sure he had heard Trowa right.

"Don't even think about leaving. Quatre hired guards," Trowa shrugged nonchalantly, as if it were nothing then turned to the bartender, "Bourbon, neat"

Heero downed the new drink in one shot, then he almost slammed the glass on the bar, then another as it was handed to him. Trowa felt bad because they were purposely lowering inhibitions and inducing numbness, but they were at their wit's end. Heero cleared his throat before speaking again.

"So, what am I to do?" he asked.

"Your mission? Be civil. If you will not kiss and make up, at least be civil. For me and Kat. The four of us, we make a pretty unusual little family. We want Christmas like it used to be, as a family," Trowa said gently. His head turned as Quatre and Trowa came down from the third floor. Duo looked like his heart might break, and Quatre looked pained.

Trowa felt more than saw Heero look up at Duo. The dark haired boy was radiating regret, sorrow, and love. It seemed to shine in his eyes. Trowa patted his thigh gently.

"Yeah," was all Trowa could say before leaving his stool to stand at Quatre's side. Duo and Quatre were all of three feet away.

Violet eyes met sapphire. Both men were almost trembling, and their arms twitched in a need to embrace. Quatre almost felt like an interloper, intruding on a very private moment. He motioned to Trowa, and the two walked further down the bar.


	5. Racing

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing. Look for the uncensored version of this chapter on AdultFanFiction(dot)net or on MediaMiner(dot)org sometime tonight or tomorrow._

_**Chapter Four – Racing**_

Heero's pulse was racing. His breath was ragged. Duo looked like a breath of fresh air, so clean and pure. That damnable braid was a mess, and Heero wanted to touch it, the brush it out, and braid it back again. He studied Duo, and saw that Duo was fiddling with his right hand. Something silver glinted from that hand. The ring? Duo still wore it?

Duo drank in the sight of Heero, his Heero. That mop of hair, those eyes, that body! And he just looked so damned good! Most of him just wanted to jump on Heero, kiss him senseless and demand absolution for all his sins. Duo looked closer, and saw the hemp necklace around Heero's neck. He still had that?

"Duo," Heero managed to get out a decent greeting, even though he felt like he had gained a frog in his throat.

Duo wanted to close his eyes. His name on Heero's tongue sounded like a caress. Every day he had missed Heero, missed everything about him, and it was all building up in him.

"Heero, it's nice to see you," Duo moved closer to the bar asked for another jack and coke. Was that the best he could come up with? Heero ordered another bourbon, even though he was already feeling quite drunk already. Heero held up his glass to Duo.

"It's nice to see you too, Duo," Heero toasted.

They sat there, in silence, while people hustled and bustled around the bar and around the room in general.

&&&

Quatre and Trowa looked around, pleased with the turnout and with their successful civil reconciliation of their two best friends.

"When are we kicking everyone out?" Trowa asked.

"I think if we put out the desserts and finger foods, and sing some carols, everyone will leave shortly after that," Quatre told him, and then they walked into the kitchen. Duo and Heero were still sitting in silence.

"Duo? Heero? Can you help us put this stuff out?" Quatre asked, wanting to keep them moving before they passed out. He handed Duo and platter of cookies and pointed to a table. Duo wobbled as he walked, but set the platter down without incident. Heero sat a platter of popcorn balls down next to it, and their arms brushed against one another. They both recoiled, as if they had been shocked, then walked back to the counter. Quatre handed Duo a bowl of candy, and handed Heero a platter of zucchini bread. Soon, the table was groaning with treats, and people were eagerly devouring the sweet snacks. Quatre and Trowa looked at each other, and then looked at the two drunken boys. Trowa took Heero by the arm and walked out to the balcony. Quatre took Duo's arms and led him over to the stairs.

"Duo, sit for a minute," Quatre patted the step. Duo sat down gingerly, obviously trying to keep his head on straight.

"I am way too drunk," Duo moaned.

"Yes. I know. How does it feel?" Quatre asked softly.

"Dizzy, hot, my head feels heavy. I am surprised I could help you with all those platters," Duo slurred.

"I meant, how does it feel, to see Heero?" Quatre tried again. Duo looked stricken, as if he were cornered and forced to do something. Then, his face slackened and tears appeared in his eyes.

"He's so gorgeous! I looked in those eyes….and the necklace! He still wears the necklace! What have I done?" Duo was softly crying now.

"Why don't we get you put to bed?" Quatre asked. Duo nodded. Quatre led him to the bedroom.

"I have pajamas for you," Quatre held out the flannel bottoms and hid the pair for Heero. Duo began to strip, and Quatre looked away politely. Duo took the pants from him, and put them on without too much trouble. Quatre helped him get into the bed, and then he covered him up.

"Hey, thanks Kat," Duo whispered.

"Anytime Duo. I hope you do not hate us in the morning," Quatre whispered back. He closed the door after him, and looked out to the balcony. Heero was sitting down, his face buried in his hands. Trowa stood nearby, looking out at the street.

"Everything okay?" Quatre asked.

"I just need to sit for a while," Heero told them.

"Well, you could sit in our study. There is a nice comfy chair there, and you will not be interrupted," Quatre suggested.

Minutes later, Heero was left in the study, curled up in a chair covered in chenille. His eyes were already drooping, and Quatre felt an almost momentary pity for what he was going to put his friends through.

"Hey, they had to push us together," Trowa shrugged, reading his mind.

"I know, I know. Let's finish this party out, and then we can move Heero."

They mingled, and made nice. They sang a few carols, and then people started to leave at about two in the morning. When the last person was gone, Quatre smiled tiredly at Trowa.

"Let's get this done," Trowa growled.

Heero was not easy to move, because he had a lot of muscle. But move him they did, in his drunken stupor. They opened the door, and Duo did not stir. They removed Heero's clothes and pulled the flannel pants over his hips. They placed him on the pillow next to Duo, and drew the covers up over the both of them. They stared at the vision of the two brunettes lying next to each other. Duo's braid was less than a foot away from Heero's face, but Quatre was still not completely satisfied.

"Trowa, move Heero so he is spooning Duo," Quatre suggested. Trowa moved the dead weight so that Heero's stomach was pressed against Duo's back, and so Heero's left arm encircled Duo's waist.

"Good night you two. You are not coming out until we say so," Quatre smiled and closed the door. Then they locked the new doorknob from the outside. It had been hard finding a doorknob that they could not unlock from the inside, but they had done it. Quatre linked arms with Trowa and followed him upstairs.

&&&

Heero's eyes twitched. He was immediately aware of several facts: he had a massive headache, a raging hard-on, pajama bottoms, a warm bed, and a very warm body lying half on top of him with legs intertwined.

_What happened?_ he asked himself. Then, he chanced opening one of his eyes. The room was almost all dark, save a sliver of light peaking through the navy blue curtains. He chanced a peek at the body lying half on him. A long braid, half unraveled, was caressing his chest like a pretty brown snake.

"Duo," Heero breathed softly. Duo was in bed with him!

_"Don't try to leave"_

_"Want another shot?"_

_"Kiss and make up"_

Heero wanted to groan, but he stopped himself for the sake of the man in bed with him. They had been set up. And he was willing to bet that they were locked in this bedroom.

Duo's soft cheek was resting near his right nipple, with that equally soft mouth hovering over his erect nipple. Heero was willing to bet that the proximity of that mouth was what had gotten his nipples erect in the first place. If Duo even just stuck his tongue out to lick his lips, he would touch that sensitive flesh. Heero remembered how good that tongue felt on his skin, on his nipples, on his mouth, on his cock…

The hard member between his legs gave a twitch from under the comfortable pants Quatre had provided him, a harsh reminder of his present condition.

Heero raised a hand to tentatively stroke Duo's soft braid while he slept. Heero carefully pulled out the tie at the bottom of the braid, and ran his fingers through the silky strands. The first time he had done this, he had no clue a man's hair could be that soft, that perfect. His hand strayed to Duo's cheek, and he used the back of his index finger to stroke the skin carefully. His fingers barely whispered over the skin, then the finger continued down over the fine hairs on Duo's arm. Heero reminded himself that he may never get this chance again. When Duo finally woke, the fit would hit the shan, and Heero may never even see him again.

Heero touched Duo's hair again, and he continued to run his fingers lightly through it. It still smelled the same, like that damned expensive shampoo Duo insisted on buying. The smell drove him crazy.

For a moment, it felt like it had felt back then. He and Duo would lie there like this until the world made them get up out of bed. They would talk, argue, make love, whatever struck their fancy.

When Duo shifted slightly, Heero became aware that he was not the only one sporting morning wood. Duo's staff was poking him in the thigh, and it was exquisite torture.

Heero knew Duo would wake soon. He decided to make quiet confessions before that happened, before this spell was broken.

"I'm sorry, Duo. Regrets are a distraction, and I only have one. I should have chased you. I should have never let you get away. I should have never given up. I ran away from the problem and never offered a solution. You were left to draw your own conclusions. I am very sorry. I still love you. I always will," Heero lifted Duo's arm and carefully climbed out from under him. Heero scooted over and swung his legs out from under the covers. He sat on the edge of the bed and swallowed two aspirin that he spied on the nightstand. Quatre had definitely planned for this. He buried his face in his hands in an effort to recover.

"You know," Heero's head shot back up, " You act too rashly. You don't even ask my opinion on the matter, and you left a perfectly warm bed"

"Didn't know you were awake," Heero said softly, his voice a little chagrined.

"I was awake before you were. Now come back to bed," Duo patted the pillow with his eyes still closed.

"Are you sure?" Heero asked, wondering if he was dreaming.

"Shit Heero, I am hungover, and it is Christmas morning. I was set up by my best friends, I woke up in your arms for the first time in six months, and I have a raging hard-on. I want you to come back to bed before I open my eyes and find out I was dreaming all of this," Duo sighed and patted the pillow again.

Heero lifted up the covers and climbed back into the warm bed, relishing the feeling. He assumed the position he had been in before he got up, and Duo resumed his position, complete with legs intertwined.

"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero found it easier to say the second time around.

"Don't be. I jumped to an absurd conclusion. You had never showed Relena one bit of attention. I guess everything was just building up on me, and I had to let it out. You became an unfortunate casualty of that," Duo said, his eyes still closed, "Hell, if anyone needs to apologize it is me"

"Well, we might as well get up. Trowa and Quatre might let us out if we tell them we are speaking again," Heero told Duo while trying not to show how much he absolutely did not want to leave this bed.

"Nope. I believe their demands were that we kiss and make-up," Duo smiled as he licked his parched lips. As Heero had predicted, that soft tongue did indeed graze his nipple, making his breath hitch. He had to suppress a shudder. Duo's violet eyes opened at the noise, and they looked deeply and sleepily into Heero's sapphire ones.

"Wow, it wasn't all a dream. I really do have the too gorgeous for his own good Heero Yuy in bed with me once again," Duo murmured. The two stared at each other for endless moments before Heero spoke again.

"That night, I was going to propose to you," Heero confessed.

"I would have said yes," Duo whispered, "I have been miserable without you"

"I kept everything I removed from the old apartment. It is all up at my cabin. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it," Heero told Duo.

"I still wake up every morning hating the world because you are not in my bed, next to me," Duo said despondently.

"I still have your engagement ring," Heero smiled ruefully, "I win"

"Touche"

Heero continued to stroke Duo's hair in silence, while staring deeply into those exotic eyes. How long had they had been lying there like that before Duo shifted his body so that he was lying on top of Heero? Duo leaned down and captured Heero's mouth in a hungry kiss, and Heero ceased to care about anything else, including time.

Heero's hands cupped Duo's face as they kissed, and Duo used his elbows to keep himself slightly propped up so that he did not crush Heero.

Duo released Heero's mouth, and they were both panting. Duo lowered his mouth to Heero's neck, licking, biting, and sucking on that flesh. He did the same thing as he moved down to Heero's throat. He continued down until he could latch onto a perfectly erect tan nipple, his silky hair following him. He used his tongue, and swirled it around the nipple as he sucked it into his mouth. He licked it repeatedly, but he could wait no longer. He moved further downward and tugged down Heero's pajama pants insistently until his hard cock sprang free. Without any hesitation he took Heero into his mouth.

It was like bliss, like a hazy dream. Heero and Duo made love like they were starving for it. They kissed every inch of available skin, and touched the sensitive places only the other knew how to find. When Heero finally took Duo, he started off with a slow and smooth rhythm, working up in speed and strength until they were both frantic.

"Duo!" Heero gasped.

"I love you!" Duo groaned. That sent them both over the edge, and they fell into an abyss, only aware of each other.

They languidly kissed each other over and over again, hangovers forgotten. Only a warm and complete feeling remained.

"Your hair got longer," Heero commented as he stroked the chestnut mane.

"Yeah, hair does tend to grow," Duo laughed.

"We should probably shower," Heero sighed.

"I agree. Besides, as I recall, the shower always was a favorite of yours," Duo grinned wickedly.

&&&

"Well, I would say that was a success," Quatre smiled over his coffee cup. Trowa removed a key from a drawer in the kitchen and unlocked the bedroom door.

"By those moans, it would appear so," Trowa smiled at his love before putting the key back in the drawer. The shower had been running for about twenty minutes.

"Well, I promised breakfast," Quatre sighed and began to gather ingredients. He was about to crack an egg when Trowa grabbed him from behind.

"Can that wait several minutes?" Trowa asked. Quatre looked up at him coyly.

"Sure," Quatre smiled as Trowa steered him away from the kitchen and back upstairs.

&&&

Duo made sounds of contentment as Heero ran the comb through his hair.

"I missed this," Heero commented.

"Me too," Duo admitted. He stopped Heero's hand and turned slightly to look at him, "What now?"

Heero knew they were going to have to have this discussion, "What do you want?"

"To be with you," Duo confessed. Heero smiled.

"Why don't we start with dating?" Heero suggested.

"Why do we have to go through all of that again?" Duo asked impatiently.

"No mistakes this time. Sometimes you have to go back to go forward," Heero turned a philosophical phrase.

"Oh, all right. We will do it your way," Duo gave up his half of the battle and let Heero resume the braiding of his hair. By the time they were done dressing, Trowa and Quatre were back downstairs. The townhouse was twinkling even in the morning light. Presents were piled beneath the tree, and Quatre was busy scrambling eggs.

Heero and Duo exited the bedroom, holding hands and grinning,. Quatre and Trowa looked up with big smiles.

"I swear, Quatre, don't do that ever again. I'll kill you," Heero tried to sound serious but he could not pull it off.

"Coffee?" Trowa asked.

For the rest of the day they laughed, joked, opened presents, and played games. But no matter the material gifts Quatre and Trowa bestowed upon them. Heero and Duo knew the greatest gift their friends had given them was another chances at happiness.


	6. Epilogue

**The Reason I Won't Be Coming**

_a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing nor any of its characters._

_**Epilogue**_

-Christmas Morning, a year later-

Heero sat at the breakfast table in Quatre's kitchen, drinking a welcome cup of coffee. They had spent hours last night playing board games and cards, and he was exhausted. He still did not know how Quatre had managed to find energy to be poaching eggs right now.

Heero had intended to take things slowly with Duo. He wanted both of them to be sure every step of the way. But one day, after they had been dating again for about two months, he came home to find that Duo had moved in. Everything the braided boy owned was in his apartment.

_"Well, we will obviously have to sell some stuff," Duo smiled as he stepped out from behind a stack of boxes. He gave Heero a kiss and threw an arm around one of his shoulders._

_"Huh?"_

_"Heero, I stay almost every night here. It is even closer to my work than my own apartment. You are being silly. So, I decided not to wait for you to ask. I'm going to live with you now," Duo explained._

And that had been it. For ten months now, they had been living together in almost perfect domestic bliss.

Quatre and Trowa had insisted the couple stay Christmas Eve. They wanted to make a tradition out of it. But Heero and Duo would be slightly less drunk this time. They had agreed, liking their strange semblance of a family.

"Hey Heero, did you see that someone finally bought that townhouse next door? Pretty penny too. I think the asking price was around three million!" Quatre whisked the hollandaise sauce with one hand and popped english muffins into the toaster with the other.

"Yeah, I did see that. Do you want some help?" Heero asked. Quatre looked relieved.

"Could you make a fresh pot of coffee, and then come handle these muffins?"

Trowa came down moments later and gave Quatre a grumpy kiss before sitting down to wait for coffee. The smell of fresh coffee lured Duo out of the bedroom, wearing a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms. He gave Heero a kiss and ruffled Quatre's hair before clapping Trowa on the shoulder and sitting down next to him.

They laughed and talked over eggs benedict, and then they sat down in front of the tree, with Heero taking over gift distribution. Some gifts were silly, others were sincere. Quatre literally gasped at the painting Trowa had bought for him. And Heero was touched that Duo had gone out of his way to buy a personalized motorcycle helmet for him. After a while, there was only one gift left, and it was for Duo. Heero handed the box silently to his lover. It was a small box, easily mistaked for a jewelers box. Heero knew that was what Duo thought it was. Duo opened the gift greedily, and then he looked perplexed as he took out a golden key. All of them stared at Heero, and he smiled a truly wicked smile.

"What's this to?" Duo asked.

"For our new house," Heero shrugged nonchalantly. Quatre gasped, Trowa's eyebrows arched, and Duo threw himself at Heero. He covered him in kisses, and then let him up.

"Where is it?" Duo asked, excited as a little kid.

"Ask Quatre," Heero smirked as comprehension dawned on the blondes face.

"Oh! Heero!" Quatre covered his mouth and leapt to his feet. He ran for the door, and the other followed. Trowa was the last one out. Outside, Quatre and Duo were staring up at the townhouse next door to the townhouse they had just come out of.

"How did you afford this, Heero?" Quatre asked.

"I have made a lot of money and I have never spent any of it. It was all invested. Wisely invested. Open the door, Duo," Heero suggested. Duo walked up the steps and put the key into the lock. He swung open the door and walked in. The entire place was empty, save a little model of a ship in the middle of the floor.

"What is a toy boat doing here?" Duo asked.

"Ship," Heero corrected.

"Whatever," Duo picked up the boat and turned it upside down. Something shiny dropped to the floor. Duo and Heero knelt at the same time to pick it up. Heero reached it first, and he held the ring out to Duo.

" A year and a half ago I planned to give you this ring. I even had it planned so that if something happened to me before I had a chance to give it to you, that you would get it anyways. That is how important it was to me. You are the only person I have ever loved, and I could never think to spend the rest of my life with anyone else. Duo Maxwell, will you marry me?" Heero had worked long and hard on that speech, and it seemed to go okay.

Duo stared at the ring, with its platinum braiding and the dark amethyst chips, and then he started to cry, "I was raised an orphan. The only home I have ever known is with you," he launched himself at Heero and put his mouth to Heero's soft ear, "Yes"

Quatre was looking teary-eyed, and Trowa was holding him tight. Duo slipped the ring onto his left ring finger and stood up with Heero.

"I've got champagne at the other house?" Quatre suggested.

Four friends toasted life, love, friendship, and family that morning. And a few months later they found themselves toasting the same things as Heero and Duo said their vows in the living room of their new home.

Turns out, sometimes all you need is a little drunken push to make right what went so wrong.

-The End-

_end notes: This story is done, but I am working on a prequel about Trowa and Quatre. Look for it soon. Thanks for sticking by me for the past week or so while I wrote this. I hope I gained some fans, and I hope to hear from you in the future._


End file.
